There’s an unfortunate meme that I’ve seen become
unfortunately popular as of late. It typically goes something like this:
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| Don't even get me started on the grammatical errors. I see you don't know how to use an apostrophe, eh? |
Oh, is that so? Well, there’s a very specific swear word I
think most people would write here, if they were the ones saying what I’m about
to say. I won’t use it. How about instead I go with...
Horsefeathers.
Or maybe a line from our good friend, William Shakespeare:
“As you like this, give me the lie another time.” (I’m told that’s from The
Tempest. Don’t worry; there’s not an exam on this. I just thought you might
like to know, and I might like the reference so I can go read it someday.)
Or there’s one of my favourites, which I use with all due
respect to President Dieter F. Uchtdorf:
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| If you'd like, you can see the full talk this comes from. Just click here. |
Yes, I don’t think I can put it any better than that: Don’t
lie. Stop it.
Prove Me Now Herewith
Do you really expect me to believe that meme? Am I honestly
supposed to believe that the people who post and re-post it are primarily
concerned with “atoms, death, aliens, sex, intellect, the meaning of life,
faraway galaxies, music that makes you feel (sic) different, memories (sic) the
lies you’ve told, your flaws, your favorite scents, your childhood, what keeps
you up at night, your insecurities and fears?” Or that... well, one section at
a time. I’ll be back to argue with the last couple sentences too. But all in
due time.
Seriously, though, am I supposed to believe this? That this
is what people want to talk about? They don’t care more about, oh, I don’t
know, news stories that are fed to them, or cute animal videos, or liking their
friends’ selfies, or repeating a meme that’s being passed around, or agreeing
with whomever has posted up a new angry rant about government policy or
something?
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| Don't mind this interruption in the margin, eh? I just felt this was appropriate for this moment. - Illustration and poem by Shel Silverstein |
Fine. In that case, I’ll give you a one-sentence summary of
my dominant thoughts on each of these things that are apparently more important
to people: Atoms are fascinating in how they work, and it’s even more
fascinating that they hold so many secrets in them. Death is sad, and painful,
and a difficult trial, but it’s not the end. “Alien” is a term for a stranger,
or one who is different, and so everyone is at least a little bit alien to
everyone else. (If this was meant specifically about extraterrestrials -- as
in, life forms on other planets or elsewhere in the universe -- then, “I
believe in alien life, and I have reasons for that.”) Sex is something that I
regard as sacred, and so I won’t talk about it at this moment. Intellect... is
kind of a vague topic, but if you have a specific question about it, I’ll try
to tell you my thoughts and opinions in response. The meaning of life is
believed by many to be subjective, but my personal beliefs show a meaning that
is quite objective and universal, and I’d love to tell more about it. Faraway
galaxies, real and fictional, inspire me, and I want to learn more about each.
Music that makes me feel differently is usually ridiculed by others. I will
only tell you about lies that I have repented of and made up for, and in that
context only. My flaws should be obvious enough to you; really, you
should be the one telling me about them. I love the ability to smell,
even though it’s sometimes unpleasant, and so in a way, all scents have favour
with me. There is a long list of things that keep me up at night, ranging from
noisy neighbours, to story ideas that come at inconvenient times, to trying to
devise plans on how I can stop hurting people, to good old-fashioned insomnia.
I’m mainly insecure about where my mortal life is going, but things that I would
classify as true fears are usually replaced with faith, and so that’s harder to
comment on.
There. Didn’t that make you bored?
...Ha ha, who are you talking to, [TAB III]? This is already
over 500 words long. People don’t have that kind of attention span anymore.
Ain’t nobody got time for that.
...OK, OK, sorry. If you are still reading, I don’t want to
be disrespectful.
Still.
Having Faith to Leap
When is the last time that you offered someone the chance to
have a conversation about one of those above topics? When did you just open up
and say, “I’ve been thinking about life and death recently. What do you believe
about them?” Or when have you asked someone what they know about quantum
physics? When do you ever open up on what you know about equipment used in the
tar sands, or fascinating deep-sea creatures, or teach a friend a little bit of
a second language (and not just the curse words), or explain how an internal
combustion engine works, or your thoughts about alternative energy, or tell
your favourite part of a book you’ve read and how it makes you feel, or explain
to someone what you like about your favourite TV show, or tell about someone
you admire?
If my personal experience is any indicator, most of you
don’t. Like... at all.
You know, it probably comes across as accusing while I say
this. Fine. Today, that’s exactly what I’ll go for, if that’s what it takes.
Anything to inspire change. So, here’s my suggestion. Or, better put, my
exhortation. (I’ve said this before, you don’t see the word “exhort” thrown
around very often anymore. But it means, “to strongly encourage or urge.”) I
exhort you,
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| "Don't let your dreams be dreams!" |
If any of you really believe that meme about having better conversations, then JUST DO IT. Don’t be afraid to let someone know about something you’re passionate about, and invite them to comment or to learn more. Or even better, ask a question on something you’re curious about. And then listen.
And maybe don’t ignore or ridicule the kinds of people who
are willing to leap into deeper conversations without warning. They may be the
sort who will come up to you and say, “Hi. Good to see you again. I was just
wondering, what colour combination do you think best represents your
personality?” I mean, said person might not even be thinking of buying you
clothes or painting you a picture or weaving you a bracelet or anything. Maybe
he or she just genuinely wants to talk to you about something significant.
You might have heard me say at some point that I like
writing. Maybe even that I’ve had ideas and goals about writing professionally.
Well, as I’ve said it at times, an automotive mechanic is called a “jack of all
trades” because he or she needs to know a little bit of what all the other
trades know. In that job, you have to know some things about electricity, some
things about plumbing, some things about milling, metallurgy, machinery, and so
on. Maybe not as much as the experts in any of those fields would know, but
you’d need to know some of each. So I have said that writing requires you kind
of to be a “jack of all knowledge.” Writing is about communicating ideas in the
best way you can, for whatever is your intended effect. Knowledge of different
things is helpful when you try to do that. And in the case of fiction
especially, if you want to “world build,” you have to learn some things about
all kinds of things in the real world, and a few things about other imaginary
worlds. So, I find myself stuck sometimes in thinking about the bigger picture.
If people actually cared so much about things like they
claim to in that meme, I wouldn’t get so many blank stares when I talk, or so
much apathy when I write. My point is... well, it’s not, “Hey! You don’t listen
to me enough, you hosers!” You go right on ahead and keep ignoring, if that’s
what you want. (Believe it or not, I don’t hate you for it.) No, my point is,
if you want people to talk to you about deeper and more significant things,
make sure to show it. Airplane pilots are usually more inclined to land when
they can see that there’s a runway below. Same idea here.
A Quick Note, inside a Note... Is Not “Note-ception.” Look Up what “Inception” Really Means, Silly People.
Now, a word about social media specifically. I get tired of
saying this, but here it is yet again. I get really frustrated at how much
people are willing to rely on, or even hide behind memes. Textual communication
is already impersonal as it is. Now, copying and pasting the words of others,
instead of posting your own, adds yet another level of impersonality to the
communication. I don’t care if you think that the memes are more eloquent than
you, or you think the memes will be better received because thousands of other
people have already given their approval to the words and images. In the end,
it doesn’t sound like you. And it doesn’t feel as meaningful that way.
Maybe you’re scared that if you speak your mind in your own
words, people will think that you’re not smart or well-spoken -- or worst of
all, that they’ll say that you’re wrong. Well, guess what? All relationships
require you to be vulnerable at some point. Sooner or later, you have to take a
leap of faith, and hope that your friends or loved ones catch you. And if you
ask me, it’s better that you try it out sooner. You could try a few leaps of
faith sometime by speaking your mind, in your own words, about something you
think is important.
Or, you don’t have to. It’s just a thought.
Untwisting Minds
Now, remember how there’s one other part to that meme that I
said I would respond to? The quote is much shorter, but I really feel the need
to say something about it. “I like people with depth, who speak with emotion
from a twisted mind,” it says.
NO. YOU. DON’T.
Whew. How should I work through these knots I see here? ...I’ll
see if this works:
1) People with truly twisted minds seldom have very much
depth to their personalities. That is what I have witnessed through experience.
Twisted minds are, more often than not, the kind that are in pain, and trying
to deny it or hide from it. And that’s it. It’s much less interesting and much
more pitiable than you would think.
2) The emotions that come from a twisted mind are generally
twisted emotions. People who are twisted are usually angry, frustrated, hurt,
sad, discouraged, despondent... Really, any emotion except happy. That’s not
something to like. Somehow I doubt that people love misery as much as they say
they do. Misery may love company, but human beings don’t love misery.
3) Usually, “twisted” people like this get described as
crazy. And no, I don’t mean “crazy” in the way that some people flood the
Internet with, “Hey, look, I’m crazy! I actually mean to say that I’m
uncomfortable and insecure about my idiosyncrasies, but I used the word
‘crazy,’ and ‘crazy’ is not ‘normal,’ ergo, I am exceptional, and better than
normal!” (I look back, and I see that I used to do that. I’m sorry for doing
it. These days it makes me cringe.) Instead, I mean “crazy” in the sense of
being disturbing or incomprehensible. This kind of person is usually feared or
disliked, and avoided. I don’t believe that people really enjoy being
accompanied by depravity as much as this meme would have me believe.
4) You want to know who I find really interesting to talk
to? Someone who is genuinely at peace. (It would be a long aside to explain my
thoughts on this peace, and how it differs from simply being calm. So I’ll save
that for another time.) People filled with peace don’t feel the need to lash
out at others or make anyone feel worse about themselves. People at peace don’t
feel the need to make themselves seem more important, either. They are the sort
who are more concerned with improving themselves and others, and the world
around them. They are usually the ones who have asked themselves the existential,
cosmic questions about the purpose of life and their place in the universe, and
had the courage not only to face the possibility of there being no answer...
but have also had the courage to believe that maybe there is. And they’re
prepared to face up to the consequences either way. Minds like that are not
twisted. But they are interesting, and deep, and their emotions more sincere.
You’ll have to believe me on this (unless you want to try
testing it out for yourself), you will find a lot more enjoyment, and joy
itself, from being around people like that. Maybe give that a try. Or become a
truly peaceful person yourself. That would also work.
Moral of the Story
You know, you could probably think of a few yourself, if I
just left off here and didn’t say anything more. And if you’ve come to any
conclusions that lead you to action, or that change the way you think, then,
great!
But I will still tell you what I wanted to say through all
of this. It’s quite simple:
BE OPEN.
A closed mind cannot receive anything, and so it can’t
learn, improve, or grow. So keep your mind open.
A closed heart cannot receive or send anything, and
so it can’t empathize, hurt and then heal, or become stronger, deepen,
increase, trust, or love unconditionally. So keep your heart open.
Don’t do those things because an Internet meme told you to,
or claims that you do those things already. And don’t do those things because I
said you should. No, if you’re going to keep your mind and heart open, capable
of sending and receiving important things, do so because that’s what you
sincerely want.
Today, it’s nearly that time of year when people make New
Year’s resolutions, where they commit to changing their habits and setting new
goals so they can be better and get more out of life. (They even keep a few of
those resolutions, sometimes.) If you’re looking for any suggestions, I offer
that one. Be open, and meaningfully so. Be willing to send and to receive
messages of real importance, even if it does have to be sandwiched between
telling about simple day-to-day events, and sharing pictures of kittens and
puppies (which I have to admit, are sometimes adorable). If you really want to
discuss and learn more about the meaning of life, then do it.
If you search long and sincerely enough, I think you’ll like
what you find.
Meanwhile, I’ll be writing, and pretending that people read
this stuff. Heh heh.
OK, have a wonderful upcoming year. Nos vemos.
- TAB III
Originally a post I wrote on Facebook, December 30th, 2016. Don't worry; hardly anybody cared about it over there, either.
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